


(I Don't Want To Be Here) If I Can't Be With You Tonight

by givemesumaurgravy



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Break Up, Fingering, Flashbacks, Getting Back Together, M/M, Smut, That's all you really need to know, There's smut and angst, Weddings, but I'm drawing a blank, there's probably more - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 14:40:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13882998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/givemesumaurgravy/pseuds/givemesumaurgravy
Summary: What…what are you doing here?” Harry asks, blinking repeatedly and nervously fiddling with his hair.Louis looks amazing; Harry would had to have gone blind to not notice that. He’s wearing a crisp, pressed suit, but the tie’s not done up and the top two buttons on his shirt are unbuttoned, leaving his collar bones exposed and…that’s just not fair. Harry is overcome with a sudden urge to bite them.It really pisses Harry off that he looks this good and,shit,Louis’ looking him up and down and Harry doesn’t really want to deal with this right now – he’s got a wedding to prepare for and it’s for the most important person in his life.Really, who does Louis think he is showing up right now, looking unshaven, handsome and perfect?“Well, I suppose the groom’s best man has to make an appearance doesn’t he?” Louis says, eyes rolling and smirk appearing on his lips.Or, Louis and Harry are reunited at Gemma's weeding after not seeing each other for years. A fic with alternating scenes in the present and past with a whole lotta angst.





	(I Don't Want To Be Here) If I Can't Be With You Tonight

**Author's Note:**

> HOLY hell. This fic is literally YEARS in the making. I dropping off the face of the larry fandom for a long while, but hiiiiii bitches I'm baaaaack.
> 
> I started this fic a few years ago and just never finished it. I found it recently and decided it should show it some much needed love and FINALLY finish it. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
> 
> (also, scenes in _italics_ are flashbacks.

**Scene i.**

“Come on! The table spread specifically calls for both a salad _and_ a dinner fork!” 

“Just as meticulous as ever.”

Harry freezes immediately, that voice paralyzing him and making his palms sweat. Harry turns finally; praying his mind is playing tricks on him and that the voice he heard does not in fact belong to –. 

_“Louis,”_ It comes out in a whoosh, breathy and disbelieving. 

“Heya, Haz,” Louis says, voice steady, but his eyes flit away from Harry nervously for a second before his attention is fully back on him. 

“What…what are you doing here?” Harry asks, blinking repeatedly and nervously fiddling with his hair. 

Louis looks amazing; Harry would had to have gone blind to not notice that. He’s wearing a crisp, pressed suit, but the tie’s not done up and the top two buttons on his shirt are unbuttoned, leaving his collar bones exposed and…that’s just not fair. Harry is overcome with a sudden urge to bite them.

It really pisses Harry off that he looks this good and, _shit,_ Louis’ looking him up and down and Harry doesn’t really want to deal with this right now – he’s got a wedding to prepare for and it’s for the most important person in his life. 

Really, who does Louis think he is showing up right now, looking unshaven, handsome and perfect?

“Well, I suppose the groom’s best man has to make an appearance doesn’t he?” Louis says, eyes rolling and smirk appearing on his lips. 

Shit, Harry had forgotten about that part. Of _course_ Louis would be here because Gemma’s marrying Louis’ best friend. They’d met through Louis and Harry, after all. 

“Well, it’s good to see you,” Harry says stiffly, putting down the spoon in his hand finally. 

“It really is, Harry,” Louis says, looking him up and down, teeth gripping into his bottom lip. “Look, I should be off, Rob needs some help before the rehearsal dinner, so…”

“Yeah, no, go for it!” Harry says, a bit too brightly. “I’ll be seeing you.”

With that, Louis gives a wave and disappears out of the room as quickly as he came, and Harry sits down, feeling like someone’s given him a swift and hard punch to the gut. 

Scene ii. 

_The first time Louis saw Harry, he was out with his friends and the girl he was seeing at the time. They went to a bar – a karaoke bar no less – and Louis was three drinks deep when the small room was filled with a beautiful, deep voice._

_Louis’ attention immediately goes to the small, makeshift stage where he spots a boy, not much younger than he is, with long, loose curls hanging dark around his face, hands folded behind him._

_Louis’ mouth goes dry and he’s quickly entranced by this kid as he sways while singing a slowed rendition of a Kings of Leon classic. The more the boy gets into the song, the more Louis can’t stop staring and he feels his body reacting to it – heart racing and palms getting sweaty._

_Louis’ broken out of his reverie by a hand on his shoulder and he turns to see Eleanor standing there looking pretty as ever, manicured fingers still resting on his shoulder._

_“He’s quite good, yeah?” Eleanor says, handing Louis a fresh pint._

_“Yeah, quite,” Louis agrees automatically, voice sounding a little distant._

_“His name’s Harry. He’s a first year and he’s in my lit class. Sweet kid,” Eleanor fills in and Louis definitely does not let that name roll around in his head for a solid thirty seconds._

_The song ends and Harry departs the stage, disappearing into the crowd as everyone claps. Louis wishes he could go up to Harry and introduce himself, maybe use a cheesy pick up line or just kiss him straight away – but… Eleanor’s hand is in his and he’s being pulled into the throngs of bar goers and the night passes in a drunken haze of heterosexual grinding and no more glimpses of Harry._

**~*~*~**

**Scene iii.**

As Harry sits in Gemma’s suite as she gets ready for the rehearsal dinner, he tries to think back to why he hadn’t seen Louis yet in all this wedding business. Certainly Louis should have been on the bachelor party excursion? That’s probably how Harry forgot Louis was even involved because he wasn’t, to Harry’s knowledge, there for that. 

“Hey, Gems?” Harry calls to his sister who’s in the bathroom doing her hair. 

“Yeah?” Gemma responds, peeking her head around the corner, curling iron in her hand with a chunk of hair twirled around it. 

“Why wasn’t Louis at the bachelor party? Like, did Rob say anything to you about it?” Harry asks, trying to keep his voice even and light.

“Harry…” Gemma starts, setting down the curling iron and playing with her newly fashioned curl as she comes into the main room of the suite to eye Harry. “Why the sudden interest?”

“I ran into him today,” Harry mumbles, suddenly very interested in the duvet pattern. 

“Oh,” Gemma says, tone understanding and not at all loaded. “How’d he look?”

Gemma comes and sits next to Harry, and even though she’s only dressed in a slip, it’s comforting to have his sister close to him. Harry waits a moment, schooling his features into a serene mask before he looks up at her. 

“Really good. Two years have done him well,” Harry says and Gemma nods simply, and it drives Harry a bit mad. “What do you expect, Gems? The love of my life shows up and I’m just supposed to pretend like all of our history doesn’t exist? I thought I was going to fucking _marry him,_ Gemma. I can’t just ignore all that now.”

“I know, Harry. I understand. I just…part of me was hoping you’d be over it. Unrealistic, I know, but I still hoped,” Gemma says, hand on Harry’s thigh. 

“God, I wish,” Harry groans, hands flying up in the air. “Part of me also wishes I never had to see him again.”

“Harry, you had to know this day would come eventually,” Gemma says, always the realist. 

“Sure, I just hoped I’d be married with two beautiful children to brag about,” Harry half laughs. 

“Well, last I heard, you need to actually start dating someone for that to happen,” Gemma says dryly. 

“Hey, now, I’ve been _trying,”_ Harry says. “It’s not as easy to find someone when most of the blokes out in LA just want me for the night.”

“Sure, Harry, and none of that comes from you _seeking out_ boys like that,” Gemma says, flipping her hair. 

“What are you saying?” Harry says, suddenly defensive. 

“Harry, what if, maybe even without truly realizing it, you’re sabotaging your own love life by only trying out guys you know only want a brief fling so you can protect your heart?” Gemma offers carefully. 

Harry pauses. Part of him thinks that makes sense. The wounds left by Louis are still very much present and incredibly painful, so yeah, maybe he hasn’t been looking for a man in the best of scenarios. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t _want_ to find someone, because he really does. He just wants someone perfect to find _him_ and he wants to be _sure_ they’re never going to hurt him before he even jumps in. 

What he really wants is Louis, pre-break-up. 

“It’s possible,” Harry mutters, brushing his hands down his slacks. “But let’s not talk about this right now, what I want to know is…what the fuck am I going to do for the rest of the weekend with Louis here?”

“Well, I think part of it is going to rely on what do you want to do?” Gemma asks. “Do you want to, like, get some closure?”

Harry sighs and runs fingers through his hair. “I don’t know. I feel like we’ve had our closure, but at the same time, I’m clearly not over it so something needs to happen.”

“Then I think you need to find some time to set aside and talk to him. Just…be nice and open. Not that I think you won’t, you just need to make sure you get everything out now and say everything it is that you need to because you don’t know when or even if you’ll get another chance,” Gemma explains and Harry nods, lips a tight line. 

“I know, I just…fuck, when did this get so hard?” Harry asks, hand fisting his styled hair. 

“Did you really expect it to be easy?” Gemma half laughs. 

“Sort of, yeah. I forgot he was going to even be here. Which brings me back to my original question, why didn’t Louis come to the Bachelor party?” 

“Um, I don’t know…are you sure you want to hear this?” Gemma asks, voice unsure. 

“I think I need to, at least so I know what I’m getting into,” Harry sighs and shifts so he’s sitting cross legged, facing Gemma on the mattress. 

“Well, he called Rob last second and explained that he was really sorry but something came up with his…erm, boyfriend and he needed to go and sort things out with him.”

“Woah,” Harry says, his heart hammering and his lungs clenching. “He’s…he’s seeing someone.”

“Um, yeah,” Gemma says. “I’ve met him, too, actually.”

“Oh?” Harry says, head full on spinning now and he’s definitely forgotten how to breathe. 

“He’s no you,” Gemma nearly whispers and, okay, that makes Harry feel _slightly_ better. 

“We should be going,” Harry says after a moment of pause, looking down at his watch. 

“Harry,” Gemma says, stopping him from standing up with a hand on his wrist. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, Gem, I’ll be fine. Just…need a drink, I think,” Harry says, standing up and stretching. 

“Promise you won’t go too crazy, though?” Gemma asks and Harry fights to not roll his eyes. 

“No worries, sis. I’ll keep myself in check. Always do,” Harry promises and then helps his sister up. “Now, go finish getting ready and I’ll meet you down there, yeah?”

“Okay, see ya, baby bro,” Gemma says with a kiss to Harry’s cheek. 

Harry gives Gemma a quick hug and then slips out of the room in search of some liquor to calm his nerves. 

**~*~*~**

**Scene iv.**

_The second time Louis sees Harry, Harry’s sitting on a curb, camera held up to his face. Louis pauses where he’s walking on the other side of the street and watches Harry, wondering if Harry’s spotted him._

_He seems like he’s pretty wrapped up in whatever it is he’s doing, snapping photos of something – Louis can’t really tell what – but whatever it is it’s got Harry’s attention fully absorbed._

_Louis takes a moment to ponder if he should go and say hi, well, they didn’t exactly meet at the bar, but Louis thinks this can’t be a simple coincidence that he’s seeing a really fit guy twice within four days when he’d never run into him before on this small campus._

_The decision is made for him when he glances back at Harry and notices the camera’s pointed directly at him and he’s staring right into the lens._

_Before he can think twice, Louis steps out into the street and crossing over to confront his now apparent stalker._

_“See something you like?” Louis says, unable to keep a little venom from slipping into his tone._

_Harry looks up from behind the camera, and shit, his eyes are **green.** Sure, he knew they were green, but he had no idea from the dark in the bar that they were **this green.**_

_It’s definitely a very pretty green._

_“Pardon?” Harry says, and Louis fights to not roll his eyes, his stomach swooping as Harry blinks at him, fingers brushing his hair behind his ear._

_“I noticed you taking a picture of me. I just…I wanted to…why?” It’s not Louis’ most eloquent statement, but oh well._

_“I like taking pictures of pretty things,” Harry says with a shrug, rolling up the sleeve of his white t-shirt like this is the most natural conversation ever._

_“Oh,” Louis says dumbly, adjusting the strap of his satchel on his shoulder._

_“I’m Harry,” Harry says and right, Louis’ not supposed to already know his name like the creepy stalker he can be when it comes to fit boys who sing like a dream._

_“Louis,” Louis replies, holding out his hand that now looks like a child’s in comparison to the large one Harry’s now wrapping around his._

_“I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable,” Harry says, standing up now, and Louis takes the chance to admire Harry’s skinny giraffe legs wrapped in black skinny jeans with holes frayed at the knees._

_“No worries,” Louis says, “You don’t exactly seem like some pervy stalker, so.”_

_Harry laughs and it’s a wonderful sound that makes Louis smile immediately. Harry pulls the sunglasses from his hair and settles them on his face so he’s not squinting at Louis anymore._

_“Nah, just a lowly photography student. You were at McCormick’s on Friday, weren’t you?” Harry asks and it catches Louis off guard._

_“Uh, yeah?” Louis replies, sounding like a question. “How’d you know?”_

_“Kind of hard to forget that arse of yours,” Harry says bluntly and Louis nearly chokes on the air he’s inhaling._

_“I see,” Louis mutters, not like he’s new to getting attention for his bum, he knows it’s pretty great, he’s just not used to people being so brash about it and looking so calm and… pleased with themselves when they make a comment about it._

_“I’m sorry, I’m making you uncomfortable again, aren’t I?” Harry says, but he doesn’t really seem all that sorry._

_“It’s okay, really,” Louis says, blushing and staring down at Harry’s scuffed, tan boots, thinking how Harry really has a style all his own. “You could always make it up to me over some drinks?”_

_A crooked smile breaks across Harry’s face, and he lifts the sunglasses off his face, locking Louis with his green eyes again._

_“I suppose I could do that, yeah. Can’t deny a pretty thing like you,” Harry says and Louis giggles, legitimately giggles._

_“Can I see it, at least? The picture of me?” Louis asks sheepishly after a pause, flicking his fringe from his eyes._

_Harry squints at Louis, shades back over his eyes, like he’s trying to figure out if Louis’ worthy. He must decide Louis’ alright, because he turns his camera back on and flips through until he turns it around and shows Louis the tiny screen._

_Sure enough, there’s Louis looking quite model-esque if he does say so himself, tight trousers making him look extra curvy and loose t-shirt hanging off his frame in a casual way. His hair is getting taken by the light breeze and his facial expression is peaceful and he even has a slight smile on his lips._

_“That’s…impressive,” Louis says, surprise clear in his voice._

_“People in pictures forget that it’s not really the photographer that makes a picture, it’s the person in it doing most of the work. It takes someone beautiful to make a picture pretty,” Harry says as if it’s the most obvious thing ever._

_Louis doesn’t know what to say to that, so instead he just smiles and looks back at Harry. Harry matches his smile and turns off the camera and bends down to pick up his bag and stores the camera back inside it._

_“Hey, so I have to run to class,” Harry says, phone now in his hand as he checks the time, “But if you don’t mind putting your number in, I can text you later about those drinks.”_

_Louis meets Harry’s eyes and sees only innocence and sincerity and it melts his heart a little. “Sure.”_

_After typing in his number, Louis hands Harry back his phone and they say their goodbyes. Louis feels really good about this one, and he already thinks Harry could be a keeper._

**~*~*~**

**Scene v.**

Even though he promised Gemma he would watch himself and not drink a lot, Harry finds himself quite pissed and they’re only at the salads part of the dinner. 

Gemma and Rob are sitting at the middle of the table and thankfully, someone’s found it imperative to sit Harry two whole seats away from Louis, who is directly to Rob’s right. 

If Harry doesn’t think about it, he can pretend that Louis’ not even there. 

But at the same time, he really can’t because Louis is _right fucking there,_ and he’s being hilarious, apparently, because everyone around him is laughing and seemingly having the best time. 

Harry tries his best to just focus on his food and not on anyone else, and instead just keeps ordering more drinks from the waiter whenever he can make eye contact with them. 

Interestingly enough, the waiter seems very inclined to do whatever it is that Harry asks him, always smiling and even winking once. 

The drunker Harry gets, the easier the night gets and the faster time passes. Harry lost count of drinks after his fifth vodka cranberry, but he doesn’t much care because he’s also got a seemingly endless supply of lemon chicken and vegetables. 

In a sudden twist of fate, the two person buffer Harry had been silently praising for the past hour disappears, leaving Harry and Louis a bit too close for comfort, even with them still being 100 feet apart. 

Harry glances to his left, noticing Louis looking at him, too. Louis smiles and Harry smiles back, a sudden buildup of bile burning his throat. 

In an instant, Harry’s standing up abruptly, jostling the table and nearly knocking over his water glass. He thinks he manages a semi-coherent apology before he’s flinging himself to out of the room towards the hallway. 

Harry makes it to a bathroom stall just in time to upheave the contents of his stomach into the porcelain basin.

**~*~*~**

**Scene vi.**

_Their first date goes unbelievably well. Harry treats Louis to three rounds of drinks before Louis convinces him to dance with him. Harry complains of two left feet, but Louis has his ways to convince people to do things they don’t really want to do._

_That and Harry evidently really did want to see how Louis could move that curvy little body of his._

_They dance for hours, but it feels like minutes. They blend in with the throngs of other sweaty bodies around them and it feels really nice to have someone else’s warm body pressed up to theirs._

_Louis holds Harry to him with hands on his hips and presses himself more firmly into Harry’s front. He waits before he turns around to grind his backside into Harry to see how much he really wants it. He doesn’t give the good stuff to just anyone._

_Louis knows it’s time when Harry looks down at him with dark green eyes and a bitten bottom lip snug between his teeth. Louis steps back and spins, twirling and then backing himself gracefully into Harry, taking Harry’s hands blindly to place them on his hips._

_Harry immediately responds by nosing at Louis’ hairline, lips kissing down the column of his neck. Louis squeezes Harry’s hands involuntarily as his eyes flutter shut, his head lolling on his neck to open himself up to Harry willingly._

_Harry digs his fingers into Louis’ fleshy hips, making Louis grind back into him, the hard line of Harry’s cock digging into Louis’ arse, making Louis smile._

_There’s not much thinking involved, they act on instinct, the beat of the music thrumming through them as they dance together, sweat soaking through their clothes._

_Louis lifts a hand and tangles it in Harry’s hair behind him, tugging as Harry suckles at his pulse point. Louis sighs loudly and licks his lips, Harry’s left hand sliding up Louis’ stomach, fingers tucking underneath his shirt._

_It doesn’t take long before Louis has had enough. The whole evening has gone incredibly well, textbook hook-up preamble. It’s time for the final step and Louis is ready to get going._

_Before he can bother to get any more worked up, he finds himself dragging Harry by the hand through the crowds of sweaty, gyrating bodies to the bathrooms._

_And, well, two messy blowjobs pressed up against the dirty bathroom door later, Harry’s got a wry come stain on his black skinnies and Louis’ lost all semblance of a hairstyle, but their grinning larger than they ever thought possible._

**~*~*~**

**Scene vii.**

Harry passes nearly twenty whole minutes in the bathroom, body curled up and head resting against the stall wall. He’s managed to squeeze himself into the corner of the stall, not really taking into consideration how dirty and gross the floor is and here he is getting his nice suit nasty. 

Harry vomited two more times and now his mouth states awful and his head's still spinning. He manages to finally open his eyes blearily and sits up, his vision swimming. 

Harry attempts to stand up, his feet stumbling and he scrambles for purchase on the wall, his body slumping into it. 

_“Fuck,”_ Harry mutters, the coolness of the wall making him feel better as his eyes slip closed. 

He counts backwards from ten, but still doesn’t feel more stable, so he tries again, counting down from twenty. By the time he gets to zero this time, he feels better and slowly straightens up, running his hands down his body gingerly, smoothing out his suit. 

Harry licks his lips and grimaces at the taste and unlocks the door, bracing himself for the look in the mirror. He decides he actually doesn’t look that bad, just a little wrinkled and messy. He takes a complimentary mint out of the tray and pops it in his mouth. 

Harry toys with his hair for a moment before just tossing it into a bun. He turns his head side to side to make sure he’s gathered all curls, and smiles when he sees he’s good to go. 

He knows this is bad, he dipped out of the end of the rehearsal dinner when everyone was getting ready to go to the bar in the hotel, but he just isn’t feeling being surrounded by so many people right now. 

So instead, he sneaks out of the bathroom and back up to his room. He’s passed out by 23:00. 

**~*~*~  
Scene viii. **

_Louis had known Rob since they were in diapers. They grew up together and stayed friends through uni, even though they ended up at different schools._

_A little while after Harry and Louis started dating, Rob came to visit, and it happened to be the same weekend that Harry’s sister Gemma was staying with Harry. Louis and Harry were very excited to introduce their favorite person from back home to each other._

_Who knew that they would end up falling in love?_

_It was surreal and straight out of a cheesy Hallmark movie, but when Louis and Harry think about it, they realistically wouldn’t want it to work out any other way._

_All it took was one weekend for Rob and Gemma to hit it off and become completely infatuated with each other. From the moment they first introduced them to each other, they couldn’t stop flirting._

_The moment Rob left with Louis, Gemma took Harry into his room and sat him down, telling him that she knew it sounded ridiculous and crazy, but she knew there was something special about Rob and that he was going to become something special._

_Ten months later they were engaged._

**~*~*~**

**Scene ix.**

The next morning, Harry wakes up feeling much better, seeing as he chugged two whole water bottles from the fridge and got a solid ten hours of sleep. 

The ceremony starts at noon, and Harry has to get ready and head over to the church early to help make sure everything is set. 

Harry is in charge of making sure the photographers have everything they need. Harry himself is a famous photographer now, mostly for pretentious fashion magazines, but he loves what he does. 

The morning passes in a blur. Harry finds himself running around doing this and that, whether it be errands for the photographer and his crew or for Gemma. It’s quite thrilling how literally anything can be granted to you if you say the magic words _‘It’s for the bride,”_ and Harry would be an idiot if he didn’t abuse that power a little. 

Though Gemma didn’t call upon him to use his talents at the wedding, that doesn’t stop Harry from taking a few, or a couple hundred, shots before the ceremony in his spare moments. What can he say, Harry has always felt much more comfortable behind a camera and seeing something play out through a camera lens has always helped him process and enjoy something more. It’s positively breathtaking to watch his sister get ready and to immortalize those pre-wedding jitters and excitement. 

Once the ceremony starts, Harry can finally relax a little and focus on watching his sister promise herself to the man of her dreams. Harry finds that he’s _happy._ Happy to be here in the moment and to not even allow himself a second to think about the man standing just a few meters away from him looking like pure sex on legs. Nope. Not even a spare thought. 

**~*~*~**

**Scene x.**

_Louis and Harry sleep together within the first week of knowing each other._

_Two weeks into the relationship and they know that at least the sexual part of their relationship works, since they go at it like rabbits and can’t keep their hands off each other._

_Louis’ always been a very sexual person, fuck first figure out the feelings later and all that, but Harry’s quite different. Harry is a lover, heart on his sleeve and he falls hard fast._

_It takes them a month to make anything official, mostly because Louis hates the idea of a label, but Harry is persistent and eventually wears him down. It doesn’t hurt that Harry is fucking adorable and sweet and looks so damn cute when he’s half asleep, voice deep and rough as he asks Louis for the thousandth time to “just be my stupid boyfriend already.”_

_Louis really can’t be blamed for finally giving in._

_Their first time was sloppy, both a little drunk and Harry uses way too much lube and it gets all over the sheets, but it’s still really good and Louis nearly comes on the spot as soon as Harry gets his cock in him._

_The second time they get together it starts with a 4 texts in quick succession that Louis gets as he sits in his final lecture of the day._

_**Come sleep with me** _

_**I’ll make you breakfast** _

_**I’ll make you cum** _

_**It’ll be a great time** _

_Louis nearly bursts out laughing during his lecture, but he manages to keep himself together until he’s out of the lecture hall and on his way over to Harry’s flat._

_They spend the next twelve hours together; naked in Harry’s bed exchanging blowjobs and fucking until the sheets are completely soiled with sweat and come that they can’t stand to lay in them any longer._

_Harry even comes through on his word and makes Louis a breakfast of eggs on toast, naked._

_The time they fuck after making their relationship official, though, that’s one of the best. Louis starts by going down on Harry for nearly twenty minutes, bringing him to the edge over and over, but never letting him succumb to it. Louis loves that, loves being able to have that much power over his lover._

_Harry takes over, though, when he gets Louis on his back and fingers him slow and good, pinning both of Louis’ wrists in one hand and sitting with his legs over Louis’ thighs to keep him pinned and still._

_Before Harry can get inside him, Louis breaks free and tips Harry over, knocking him on his back and straddles Harry. Harry is so shocked and excited by the energy Louis’ giving off that he simply settles back with his arms behind him and watches as Louis slicks Harry up and effectively impales himself on his cock._

_Louis shouldn’t be surprised once he sets a good pace that Harry reaches over to the bedside table and picks up his camera. Harry holds it up to his face and Louis dares to look dead through the lens._

_Harry snaps a few pictures before he starts rutting his hips up, and something about the angle Louis’ created gets Harry to hit him perfectly right and he can’t help but toss his head back with a loud moan, hands on Harry’s chest._

_The picture is probably really hot._

_Harry has to put the camera down after that though, because, if the look on his face and the way he grips into Louis’ hips is anything to go by, he’s about to come._

_Harry comes first, moaning loudly and fucking roughly up into Louis. Louis lets him ride it out, bouncing up and down, chasing his own orgasm. Harry lifts Louis off him, dumping him on his back and Louis’ about to protest when he notices Harry’s sliding down his body and fitting himself between Louis’ legs, mouth immediately going to his cock._

_There’s no special finesse to it, Harry just bobs his head fast and rhythmic, working his mouth and tongue to quickly bring Louis off until he’s shooting down Harry’s throat with a high moan and a curse._

_Harry doesn’t draw off until Louis’ tugging his hair harshly. Harry flops down on the bed next to Louis, staring up at the ceiling with him, both trying to catch their breath._

_Louis breaks the silence first, holding up one of his hands to Harry, “That was incredible.”_

_Harry rolls over and laughs at Louis, shaking his head as he gives Louis the high five he was silently asking for. Louis grins and pecks Harry on the lips before rolling out of bed to get a tissue._

_Harry stretches out and reaches off the bed to give Louis’ bare arse a slap, making Louis yelp and his cheek jiggle beautifully. Louis turns to glare at Harry and Harry just grins innocently._

_“Good game, kid. Hit the showers,” Harry says through a laugh and Louis breaks at that, laughing too until he tackles Harry back on the bed, tissue forgotten._

**~*~*~**

**Scene xi.**

After the wedding ceremony, everything is a frenzied chaos again as the wedding party quickly gathers to head to the location for the wedding photos. Harry is excited because he finally can get behind his camera, on official business this time, and get to take some more pictures, at least for the group shots he’s not in.

It helps, too, that they pound a couple bottles of champagne in the limo ride over to the park. 

They start with the bridesmaids and bride pictures, and Harry happily snapping dozens of candids as the girls try out pose after pose. Harry finds he quickly gets in the zone and time flies by quickly. 

Harry eventually has to put the camera down and join in on the group side and he plays his part easily, though he’d much rather be on the other side of the lens. He smiles and all he really has to do is take one look at the sickenly happy look on his sister’s face for him to get in the moment.

Between groupings, though, Harry can’t help the way his camera is still always just drawn to Louis. Harry finds as he’s flipping through his roll on the drive back to the hotel that the majority of his film is filled with pictures of Louis. It really should be be more concerning that it is.

**~*~*~**

**Scene xii.**

_The first time Louis legitimately sleeps over, it’s nearly two months into their relationship. Until that point, he’d never really spent the night over, only ever fucking and then doing a little cuddling until he’d come down enough or sobered up enough to make his way back to his flat._

_Louis didn’t think anything of it, but Harry knew it was weird._

_Harry finally brought it up one night, post-fuck, cuddled up in Louis’ side. “I love spending the night.”_

_“It’s nice, innit?” Louis replies, giving Harry a squeeze._

_“Why don’t you like staying at mine, then?” Harry asks, biting his lip at the bluntness._

_Louis pauses, grip tensing as he mulls over the question. Harry knows he’s put him on the spot, but he needs to know the answer._

_Finally, Louis says quietly, “I dunno, it’s just…it makes it real. I never spend the night at anyone’s, and it’s just…it’s such an act of trust that it scares me to do it.”_

_“But now you have,” Harry says. “I’d hope at this point you’d trust me,” Harry says softly, fingers playing with Louis’ soft fringe._

_“I do trust you, Haz. That’s why I did it,” Louis says, turning so he’s facing Harry._

_“Then you’ll be doing it again, I presume,” Harry says, face so close to Louis’ he can count the freckles dotting his nose._

_“Most definitely,” Louis whispers. “I’d love that.”_

_“Good,” Harry says, sealing it with a kiss. “You know, I think I’m ready for another round, what’d ‘ya say, champ?”_

_Harry reaches down and gives Louis a squeeze, making him squawk, but he’s kissing him seconds later and that answers Harry’s question for him._

**~*~*~**

**Scene xiii.**

The reception is every bit as beautiful and perfect as Harry had hoped it would be. Gemma and Rob look so happy and everyone else seems to be thoroughly enjoying themselves. 

Before Harry knows it, it’s time for the speeches and it’s Harry’s turn to speak, or in his case, sing. 

Harry holds the mic to his lips and closes his eyes. This is his moment – his moment to give something to Gemma and Rob to start their life together. He wants to show them how much he loves them. 

But then there’s Louis sitting there right to Rob’s left and staring at Harry. He can’t ignore him and he feels Louis seeping into his bloodstream and burning him from the inside. 

Harry’s sings and closes his eyes as tightly as he can and forces Louis out of his mind, knowing it’s going to ruin this moment if he lets Louis in. 

He’s halfway through his song when he opens his eyes and notices Louis standing up abruptly and leaving the room after he wipes his mouth on the napkin. 

Harry tries not to look visibly taken aback, even though he’s shocked Louis’ leaving. He schools his features back into something soft and smiles as he finishes his song. As the final notes ring out, the room breaks out into cheers and clapping, and Harry bows in appreciation. 

Gemma comes up to him and hugs him tightly, kissing him on the cheek and thanking him through the tears welling up in her eyes. Harry hugs her back tightly, whispering, _“I love you, Gems,”_ quietly in her ear. 

Harry makes his way back to his seat as Gemma’s maid of honor gets up to speak. Half way through, though, Harry makes his excuses as he notices Louis hasn’t come back into the room. He knows he probably shouldn’t, but Harry can’t help it. He needs to talk to Louis, needs to make sure he’s okay. 

**~*~*~**

**Scene xiv.**

_Louis comes home from his last midterm exhausted and buzzing at the same time. He hasn’t slept in two days, but he’s still feels a thrill running through him because **he’s done,** and that means he’s got a full weekend of nothing hanging over him. _

_Louis unlocks his door and lets himself into his room, dropping his backpack on the floor immediately and then moving towards his bed, ready to lay down for a moment while he figures out what to do with the rest of his day._

_Right before he lies down, Louis notices the small red box with a black silk bow on the top of the mattress. He pauses, taking a look around half expecting to find someone waiting in the corner, but he doesn’t find anyone._

_Louis takes a closer look at the box and finds a small card tucked under the bow. He takes it, and straightens up to read the scripted letters on the inside of the tiny card._

__**My Louis –  
Wear this tonight to celebrate.   
Xoxo, Harry **

_Louis’ breathing quickens at the message. Knowing Harry, this gift could honestly be anything. They haven’t exactly talked about any sort of ‘dressing up’ for one another, but it’s not like…it’s not like Louis would be **against** that. He loves Harry and he loves being with him in all sorts of ways, and who knows, that could just bring them closer. _

_With a deep inhale, Louis finally opens the box after slipping off the bow and he grins widely when he’s met with crisp white tissue paper covered in red and black sparkles. When he dips his fingers into the tissue, his fingers are met with smooth and soft fabric._

_Louis pulls out the material and it quickly recognizes it as a jockstrap. Louis admires the red fabric and black elastic and he can’t help the excited flip his stomach does as he turns the garment around in his hands and imagines himself wearing it._

_Putting down the jockstrap and finding his phone, Louis takes a breath to try and stop his hands from shaking from anticipation long enough to type out a text to Harry._

_**You’ve really outdone yourself, babe Xx** _

_Louis sets the phone down and brings his thumb to his mouth, chewing on the nail nervously as he eyes the jockstrap resting on the tissue again. He bites back a smile and mumbles, ‘fuck it’ before he’s stripping down and tossing his pants and sweats in the corner._

_Louis looks down at himself, his cock already perking up in interest at the prospects of the night to come. He tries to think of something else to help the situation, but staring at the clothing in the box is not helping and happens to only make it worse._

_Luckily, Louis’ phone buzzes and he takes the distraction as a chance to slip the jockstrap on before he gets too hard to make it fit right. Louis unlocks his screen and reads Harry’s message._

_**Come over.** _

_Louis’ stomach swoops and he barely even remembers to slip on his sweats over his legs before he’s dashing out the door and hurrying over to Harry’s._

_It only takes Louis ten minutes to get to Harry’s, and when he gets there, he finds Harry lounging on his bed, tumbler with an inch of whiskey in his hand._

_Something about the situation makes Louis not walk to talk and instead just strip, so he does. Seconds later, Louis is standing in the space at the foot of Harry’s bed, hands clasped behind his back and chin turned down shyly as he lets Harry’s eyes sweep him up and down._

_“Turn, love,” Harry says, swirling his hand through the air._

_Louis bites his lip and slowly turns on his heel, unclasping his hands and holding his arms tight to his sides, wrists bent and fingers pointed out._

_“Beautiful,” Harry breathes as he sips his drink and admires Louis’ backside._

_The straps cut right under the swell of Louis’ arse, in a way that makes it seem even perkier than normal. The front part hugs Louis well, the red cloth cradling him and only slightly masking his excitement.  
It’s slow and sensual from there, starting with the way Louis climbs on top of him and takes his glass from him, draining its contents and then kissing Harry filthily. The kiss turns to slow and passionate sex that seems to last for hours. _

_“Fuck, I love you,” Harry breathes afterwards, heart still pounding and fingers tangling in the sweaty knots in his hair._

_It takes him a second to realize what he’s just said, and Louis realizes it at the same delayed moment, his breathing halting and his body freezing next to Harry._

_“Shit, I…” Harry rushes to say, trying to backtrack, but Louis stops him with fingers to Harry’s lips._

_“Babe, it’s okay,” Louis says, his words floating on a laugh. “I love you, too.”_

_Harry grins hugely and he sweeps Louis up into his arms and kisses him with everything he has. Louis giggles through it, legs coming around Harry’s thighs and presses himself up against him._

_“You’re such a dork,” Louis mumbles against Harry’s lips. “But you’re my dork.”_

_Harry grins goofily at that, all teeth and squinty eyes until Louis kisses the silly smile off his face and holds him tight._

**~*~*~**

**Scene xv.**

After some searching, Harry finds Louis outside on a bench. 

“Come sit,” Louis says, the crisp night air nipping at his cheeks and nose. 

Harry looks at him apprehensively, and Louis looks at him, rolling his eyes and smiling, and Harry gives in easily. The bench is wide enough for four, and Harry takes a seat as far away from Louis as possible, leaving enough space for two whole people. 

Louis frowns when he notices and he looks like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t. Harry stares at Louis, looking like he’s waiting for him to say something, but they both just end up watching each other carefully. 

Finally, Louis opens his mouth and says, “I’m sorry.”

As long as Harry’s waited for Louis to say that, it doesn’t feel as good as he thought it would. He’d imagined it a thousand times, in hundreds of different ways, and yet…hearing Louis say it now, it doesn’t feel like he thought it would. 

“Okay,” Harry says, because, really, what else can he say? 

Louis looks at Harry like he’s sprouted two heads and fish mouths as he searches for something to say. Harry takes two deep breaths and smoothes the fabric of his suit over his legs. 

“Honestly, I was hoping for some sort of reaction here,” Louis says, voice tight and strained. 

“What do you want from me here, Lou?” Harry says, the old nickname slipping out as he scrubs a hand over his face. “It’s been two years of…nothing. I’ve gotten over it now. Yeah it sucked and I missed you every single day, but I’m steady now. I’ve moved on.”

“Have you?” Louis asks a bit bitterly. “Have you moved on?”

Harry tries not to scoff and he rolls his eyes at Louis. To be honest, he hadn’t moved on in the sense of finding someone else, but he doesn’t cry himself to sleep anymore so…

It’s not like there are dozens of Louis Tomlinson’s prancing around for Harry to move on to. 

“Haz…” Louis presses and Harry glares at Louis, jerking his hand back when Louis tries to reach out for him.

“Don’t,” Harry hisses. “You don’t get to _be_ like this with me anymore. You lost that privilege when you walked away.”

Louis at least has the decency to look taken aback and, shit, he actually looks really hurt. Louis sniffles and Harry sees tears forming in his eyes and it makes him second guess the whole situation.

“Louis…” Harry whispers, voice softer and more concerned. “Baby, don’t cry.”

Louis looks up at the pet name and Harry feels guilty immediately. It slipped out, and he didn’t mean it like it sounded, like nothing had changed because _everything_ has changed. 

It feels like they’re suspended in time, like the moment is frozen and the only thing that matters is the way Harry’s heart is pounding in his ears and the way Louis’ blinking the tears from his eyes, replacing them with curiosity and a little bit of desperation.

Then something breaks when Louis opens his mouth and breathes one syllable, “Please.”

Harry snaps, closing the gap between them and kissing Louis fiercely. Louis whimpers at first, the force of the kiss bruising, but Harry pulls back, softening his movements and calming himself. 

They adjust on the bench, lips never parting until they’re both on their knees, bodies pressing together. Louis grips tightly to the sides of Harry’s jacket, kissing him harder and pulling him closer. 

Harry combs his fingers through Louis’ hair, holding him at the back of his head as he turns his head and parts his lips, begging Louis’ to do the same. He does, meeting Harry’s tongue eagerly with his own and moaning softly into the kiss. 

It only takes a few minutes though, before Harry’s coming to his senses and realizing what’s happening and it gives him a sudden sick feeling in his stomach. He pulls back, Louis still clinging to his lapels. 

Harry pets his hands down Louis’ neck and shakes his head as Louis blinks his eyes open, lips red and swollen. He looks wrecked, something Harry never thought he’d see again.

“We shouldn’t,” Harry whispers, voice thick with want. “Not here, not like this.”

“Why not?” Louis says. “When do you think we’ll get another chance?”

Harry stares at Louis for a moment, wondering if Louis is just looking for one night, one more time to fall back into old habits to just walk away in the morning like nothing happened. Harry doesn’t think he’d be able to bear it. 

“I’m sorry. I just can’t,” Harry says and then he’s getting up and walking away, but not before he’s straightening his suit and begrudgingly adjusting himself in his slacks.

As he walks back into the reception hall, Harry makes a promise to himself to stay as far away from Louis as possible for the rest of the weekend. 

**~*~*~**

**Scene xvi.**

_They’ve had fights before, minor ones over this or that, things that don’t really matter in the long run, but this one is a little different and the claws are truly coming out for the first time._

_“I feel like I should be able to leave you for five seconds and not have to worry about seven million whores coming up to you and hitting on you!” Louis yells, hands flinging in the air._

_“Come on, Lou, that’s a bit much,” Harry says, fighting an eye roll. “Those two girls were friends of mine from class.”_

_“Doesn’t change the fact that they were hitting on you and you were…you were flirting back!” Louis all but screams, looking like he’s ready to start throwing things at any moment._

_“Louis, I can’t even talk with you right now, you’re being ridiculous,” Harry says, but Louis is really attractive right now, the way he’s so passionate about this._

_“I am not! I can’t believe –“ Louis cuts himself off, eyes scanning down Harry’s body. “Wait, are you…are you hard right now?”_

_Harry glances down and sure enough, he’s got a boner pressing itself against his pants in a very obvious way. Harry frowns and licks his lips, clearly annoyed that this is happening, but fuck, now that he’s consciously aware of how turned on he is, all he wants to do is **do something** about it. _

_“Don’t look at my boner when we’re fighting!” Harry says, half joking._

_“How the hell are you turned on right now? We’re in the middle of an argument!” Louis yells._

_Harry doesn’t say anything for a moment, simply staring at Louis as he folds his arms and pops his hip waiting rather impatiently for Harry to answer him._

_“I mean, shit, Lou. If you could look at yourself right now, you’d understand. You’re just so **hot** when you’re angry. The way your nostrils flare and your eyes are so intense. Even your body language is so sexy,” Harry explains, voice coming out frustrated and deep._

_Louis blinks at Harry, some of his intensity melting away as his arms unfold and he straightens up. They just stare at each other for a moment, then they’re being pulled together like magnets, bodies colliding and hands gripping each other._

_Their anger isn’t gone, maybe subsided a little, but now it’s fueling passion and they’re rough with each other as they tear and claw each other’s clothes off and fall to the floor in a mess of scattered clothes._

_“I’m still mad at you, you know,” Louis says, afterwards, voice tired and panting._

_“I know, boo,” Harry says, turning his head to kiss Louis on the forehead._

_“I just…I wish I could be more confident in us. I…it’s not that I don’t trust you, because I do. I trust you. I just…I wish I were able to trust every other person you come into contact with. It’s those other people that I can’t seem to trust.”_

_“Babe, but if you trust me, that should be enough. I will never do anything that would hurt you,” Harry says, turning Louis’ face so they can see eye to eye._

_“I know…I just…I’m insecure. I worry that I’m not going to be enough for you. I don’t feel like I can…um, match up to those people. You’re up here,” Louis says, complete with hand gestures, arm up in the air, “Looking all beautiful and perfect and model-esque at all times and then I’m…I’m here,” Louis holds his other hand down at eye level. “I’m just average and I can’t compare to any of those other people.”_

_“Hey, love,” Harry says, taking Louis’ hands in his delicately. “I will tell you this everyday if I have to, and I know that saying all this isn’t going to automatically fix your insecurity, but you are everything to me. I love you, yeah?”_

_“I love you, too,” Louis mumbles, blush creeping up his cheeks, voice quiet as he says, “To be honest, hearing it helps.”_

_Harry adjusts himself, leaning up more so he can grin down at Louis. “Well, then, looks like I’ll be saying it much more often.”_

_Louis grins, little teeth catching his bottom lip and digging in. Then they’re kissing again and it’s softer and lighter and all the anger has melted away and in its place, a warm happiness and comfort._

**~*~*~**

**Scene xvii.**

Harry passes the rest of the dinner in a haze, ignoring everyone around him and focusing on keeping his breathing normal. Once the dancing part of the reception starts, he redirects all of his energy to dancing and having fun with his family and friends, and consciously staying a safe distance from Louis at all times. 

At one point, there’s the father daughter dance and harry dances with Gemma after Robin does and then Rob cuts in. Harry accidentally meets Louis’ eyes and instantly feels overwhelmed. He does the only logical thing he can think of and leaves to head to the bathroom to calm down. 

Once he’s in the bathroom, Harry stares at himself in the mirror for a moment, giving himself a silent pep talk before splashing some water on his face. He’s just about to head back out when Louis walks in, expression desperate as he opens his mouth to speak.

Harry shuts him down quickly, knowing if he lets Louis speak, he may not have the strength to walk away from him again.

“You can’t keep doing this and pretending to be here for me. It’s not fair, to either of us,” Harry says, then before he can think the better of it, adds. “I’m sorry.”

Harry pushes past Louis then and exits the bathroom without a second glance. 

**~*~*~**

**Scene xviii.**

_On their three-year anniversary, Harry knows. He’s ‘known’ since he first met Louis, to be honest, but there’s just something about dancing with Louis slowly around the living room of his flat in the candlelight, that he finally, consciously **knows** that Louis is the one for him, the one he wants to spend the rest of his night with. _

_And now he just **has** to tell him. _

_“Hey,” Harry starts and Louis lifts his head from where it’s resting on Harry’s chest and they slow their dancing even more._

_“Yeah, love?” Louis whispers, smile huge and eyes sparkling._

_“I love you, so, so much,” Harry says as confidently as ever, fingers stroking Louis’ hair by his ear affectionately. “You’re it for me, you know? You are the one I want to spend forever with. I love you more than I could ever imagine loving anybody.”_

_Louis blushes, head falling to rest over Harry’s heart as he whispers, “Me, too.” and then, even softer. “You sappy fucker.”_

Yeah. There’s never going to be anyone else for either of them. Neither can ever imagine being even half as happy with anyone else. 

**~*~*~**

**Scene xix.**

Harry makes the conscious decision to stay until the very end of the reception to make sure everyone gets to where they need to be safely and to help clean up a bit. He also stays because Louis seems to be doing the same thing, he just wants Louis to go to bed so he can sneak upstairs in peace. 

Eventually though, they’re the only two left in the reception hall and Harry can’t ignore Louis any longer. 

“Before you say anything,” Louis says, walking up to Harry with his hands raised in innocent surrender. “Just hear me out.”

Harry sighs and nods, resigned to give Louis what he wants, curiosity getting the better of him.

“Can we go upstairs and just talk? I have… I have so much I want to say to you and to just… clear the air. I can tell you want to say some things to me, too, H. Please. I can’t… I can’t let us leave it like this,” Louis says, desperation seeping into his voice. 

Harry just watches him for a moment, trying not to take too much pleasure in making him squirm before he nods. Louis visibly relaxes and then turns to leave, shooting a quick look over his shoulder to make sure Harry’s following him. 

They ride the elevator in silence, and Harry leads them to his room, unlocking it and letting Louis into his world again, just like that. Louis makes himself comfortable in one of the armchairs by the window, and Harry recognizes the look on Louis’ face, the mask of calm Louis puts on to hide when he’s nervous or anxious. Harry was always able to see right through him. 

Harry doesn’t know what else to do, so he fixes them both a drink and then sits in the chair next to Louis. He waits for Louis to speak, seeing as he was the one who asked for them to talk, but when Louis doesn’t immediately start opening up, Harry feels a need to fill the silence. 

“I don’t really know what you want from me, Louis,” Harry says, staring down at his drink. “You’ve known where to find me for the past two years. Why do you think this, _my sister’s wedding,_ is the time to break the silence? What, were you just bored?”

That stings, Harry knows it does, and he hates the way Louis visibly recoils at that. Harry wants to apologize, but he bites his tongue, hoping that his words will give Louis a push to finally voice what’s going on in his head. 

“I’m… I’m sorry,” Louis says. “I… I’ve wanted to reach out, so many times, I just… I just didn’t know how.”

“And you think that it’s fair to do this, here, now?” Harry bites, voice thick.

Louis just looks down at his lap, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. Harry drains the rest of his drink and he knows he’s probably going to regret this, but he can’t hold back anymore and he feels like he needs to let it all out now, because who knows when he’s going to get the opportunity again to talk to Louis like this. 

“As much as I hate to say this because it’s cliché and stupid but, Lou, you were…you were it for me. I can’t date I can’t _love_ anyone else because they’re not _you._ I hate the ‘you’ve ruined me for all other men’ bit but you _have,_ Lou. You were it for me and I want to…I want to just _hate you,_ but…you’re you,” Harry pauses, laughing darkly to himself and raking his fingers through his hair. “The worst part of this all is that I still want you. If you were to tell me right now that you wanted me, too, I don’t…I don’t think I’d be able to stop myself from dropping to my knees right now.”

Harry finally turns and meets Louis’ gaze again. Louis smirks a little, confidence coming back in a powerful wave, and then he’s reaching and unbuttoning his cuffs, slowly, one at a time. He still doesn’t say anything as he reaches for his tie, undoing it and standing up to move closer to Harry. 

“Drop to your knees, eh?” Louis says, voice light and teasing. “I seem to have many fond memories of you on your knees.”

Harry sucks in his breath, lips curling into his mouth as his tongue pokes out, a tell he knows Louis loves because it means he’s turned on. Harry should really care that he’s showing his cards, but he just doesn’t. 

Louis moves forward until he’s in Harry’s space, climbing into Harry’s lap and breathing the same air. He looks Harry in the eyes, like he’s checking for approval of the sudden proximity. Harry has stopped breathing completely now, holding his breath as he waits to see what Louis is going to do next. 

Louis places his hands on Harry’s shoulders and bends down a bit so he can rest his forehead against Harry’s, eyes fluttering closed. Louis moves so he can trail his lips down Harry’s cheek to his ear, breath hosting over Harry’s neck.

“I need you. I want you,” Louis whispers, voice breathy and high. 

Harry’s breath comes out in a whoosh and suddenly they’re kissing again and it’s like no time has passed since they were on the bench. Here they are, picking up right where they left off.

And just like that, Harry completely gives up all resolve and gives himself over to Louis and the moment. He figures this may be the last time he’ll ever get to have Louis, and he has to savor it. 

Harry runs his hands up and down Louis’ back roughly, unable to decide where to hold him and it’s like he’s trying to ground himself in the moment, trying to make sure he’s real. 

Finally Harry’s hands land on Louis’ arse, finding what feels like their rightful home there. He helps himself to two handfuls and squeezes, making Louis grind forward and gasp into his mouth. 

Harry needs, quite desperately, to take Louis to bed, so he grips Louis by the backs of his thighs and lifts him as he stands. Louis makes a sound that can only be described as a squeak and clings even more tightly, grinning and then kissing on Harry’s neck, which only makes Harry want to get him to bed all that much quicker. 

Harry dumps Louis onto the bed the second he reaches it, loving the indignant squawk Louis gives and then he’s wrestling himself out of his suit coat and starts unbuttoning his shirt. Harry hates to see Louis doing that himself as it’s something he usually takes great pride in. 

Harry stops Louis quickly and forcefully, taking his wrists and pressing them into the mattress. Louis blinks up at Harry, a desperate look in his eyes. Harry can’t bare it, instead kissing Louis deeply until all either can think about is getting the other naked. 

Harry takes charge of unbuttoning Louis’ shirt the rest of the way and then moves to his trousers, roughly tugging at his slim belt and tugging it from the belt loops. He tosses it carelessly behind himself and then undoes Louis’ flies, feeling pride swell in his when he’s met with Louis’ hard on underneath soft briefs. 

“Still so fucking responsive,” Harry murmurs before tugging harshly on the sides of Louis’ pants. 

Louis scoffs, but sits up enough to shed his top layers and wiggles his hips to help Harry out with getting him naked. Louis then reaches for Harry, quickly getting Harry out of his shirt and pants. It really should be surprising that he’s still _so good_ at getting Harry naked in so little time. 

“God, you’re still so fucking _fit,”_ Louis says, mostly to himself, but Harry still grins at it and kisses him fiercely. 

Harry climbs onto the bed, fighting to not break their kiss as he does so and pins Louis down. They kiss for a bit, the kiss turning into playful teasing and lip biting, each daring the other to be the first to give in and take it further. They’ve come this far, someone just has to make the first move and pull the other’s brief’s down.

Louis, always more of a tease than Harry, pulls back and flicks his tongue over Harry’s lips, opening his eyes and smiling, hands coming up to frame Harry’s face. Harry is panting, watching Louis in awe, taking him all in and trying to freeze this moment, burn it into his memory, having Louis right here underneath him again. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Lou,” Harry whispers. “Just as beautiful as the first day I saw you.” 

Louis ducks his gaze, always so shy when it came to compliments in intimate moments. Harry kisses both of his cheeks and then moves to his neck, taking his time to suck a line of possessive marks down the column of Louis’ throat, just like he used to when he’d get jealous and need to visibly stake his claim.

“Fuck, Harry,” Louis moans, fingers tangling in Harry’s long hair and only spurring Harry on. 

Harry continues his trail of kisses down Louis’ perfect chest, pausing to bite and suck fresh marks as he goes, paying special attention to Louis’ nipples that always so sensitive. 

Louis was always so fucking _responsive_ and Harry basks in it. He even plays a little game with himself as he assaults Louis’ nipples - trying to see how many different noises and octaves Harry can pull from Louis. 

Eventually though, he takes pity on Louis as he continues to grind his hard on up into Harry’s chest, trying to get him to pay attention to him a little bit lower. Harry runs his tongue down Louis’ tummy, stopping when he gets to the waistband of his black briefs. 

“Please, Haz,” Louis begs, fingers tugging gently on his curls. “Need it.”

Harry smirks up and him and without further warning tugs down his briefs and immediately swallows Louis’ cock down to the root. Louis curses and nearly launches himself off the bed. Harry holds him steady with a heavy hand on his hips as he continues to suck Louis fiercely.

Harry’s a bit out of practice, but he hopes he can cover any nerves with sheer enthusiasm. He had forgotten how much he truly enjoyed doing this and how purely responsive Louis is, which just makes it all that much better. 

It doesn’t last long before Louis is pushing Harry off, muttering about how he’s not going to last and he _needs Harry in him, like yesterday._

Harry launches himself up to place a sloppy kiss to Louis’ mouth, more heavy breathing and spit slick lips than anything, but Louis grounds him by threading a hand in the back of his hair and coaxes him to slow down with languid slides of his tongue. 

Harry settles a bit, at least enough to press three more pecking kisses to Louis’ lips and then he slides off him in search of the supplies he needs. Louis watches him with hooded eyes as he absentmindedly reaches for his cock and starts stroking himself slowly. 

Harry can’t help but instantly want to take his picture with how breathtakingly gorgeous he looks. 

Harry shakes himself though, knowing how delicate this moment is and any redirection could shatter the whole thing. 

Harry finds what he’s looking for in his suitcase, a slight twinge of guilt as he is instantly reminded of _why_ he packed that stuff in the first place - he had been hoping to get completely hammered and get lucky with a one of Rob’s hot friends. 

Louis thankfully doesn’t question him and instead reaches for the lube and begins prepping himself. Harry is so shocked that he just stares for a few moments before he comes back to himself and takes the bottle from him.

He makes quick work of it, his fingers long and practiced, and after a bit of fumbling, he falls back into his old, steady rhythm. Louis does his part of signaling him when he’s good or needs more time with a hand around Harry’s wrist, squeezing of tapping to convey his needs. 

“That’s quite enough, Haz,” Louis says finally, tugging on Harry’s wrist and sitting himself up on the pillows. “I’m ready.”

Harry nods, finding a condom on the mattress and opening it with slightly shaking fingers. He struggles to get it on at first, but then Louis takes it from him and glides it on perfectly before coating him in a generous amount of lube. Louis smiles at Harry when he looks at him, and he gives him a reassuring nod. 

“I want this Harry. Don’t be nervous,” Louis says sweetly, then he’s switching gears. “So, I know it’s not super sexy or anything, and we’ve done many more adventurous positions back in our prime, but I’m thinking missionary, yeah?”

Harry nods, knowing without Louis saying anything that he really likes being able to see Harry when he’s feeling vulnerable, which he definitely is now, even though he’d rather die than admit it outloud. 

Harry pulls Louis back down flat on the bed and props his thighs up so he can properly see his target. He watches Louis carefully as lines up, taking one of Louis’ hands in his and squeezing it tight. 

The first press in is glorious. Harry nearly loses himself to the slick heat of it, but he allows the indescribable look in Louis’ eyes to ground him. Harry adjusts once he’s buried hilt deep and folds his body down on top of Louis, claiming his mouth in a fierce kiss and giving himself over to the moment. 

He waits until Louis says he’s ready and starts with slow grinds of his hips, drawing the sweetest sounds from Louis until he can’t take it anymore and lifts up enough to give himself the leverage he needs to start really giving it to Louis.

A much as he wants to make it sweet and slow, he knows that’s not what they both need right now. They need it to be quick and dirty, unforgiving and rough. 

Somewhere in the middle though, something crumbles between them and Harry can feel it in the way Louis clings to him and sees it in his eyes. It’s not over between them, but he doesn’t know how to fix it. 

It’s over all too quickly, both shouting the other’s name as they come and just laying there holding each other afterwards. Harry fights a million different feelings as he buries his face in Louis’ neck, grounding himself with his scent. 

They don’t talk about how Louis was basically in tears when he comes or that Harry nearly spilled his heart out as he brought Louis to climax. Instead, after Harry cleans them both up, they just lay in silence, each falling deeper back into their own worlds, everything they’re thinking and feeling hanging unspoken between them. 

**~*~*~**

**Scene xx.**

_“We can’t keep doing this,” Louis whispers and it sounds…final, like there’s no more fight left in him this time._

_“What are you saying?” Harry asks, tears already brimming in his eyes and he feels like his entire chest is shrinking, crushing his lungs and stopping his breathing entirely._

_“We’re better apart, Harry. I can’t…I can’t love you the way I really want to – not where I’m at right now,” Louis says, head shaking and fingers running through his matted fringe tiredly. “I’m just…I’m not ready for this like you are. I can’t keep you in this when we’re just not…we’re not on the same page anymore.”_

_“But I **love** you,” Harry says as clearly as he can, trying to get Louis to realize that he’s not willing to let him walk away. _

_“I know, H. I love you, too, but that’s just not enough right now. I’m moving to Manchester tomorrow and you’re going to LA. I’m not going to be the one holding you back and I’ve told you a dozen times that I’m not ready to commit to up-ending my entire life right now to just follow you around like some silly little puppy dog. I have to see if I’m good enough to do this on my own – I have to see if I can stand on my own without you.”_

_“So…so this is goodbye?” Harry asks, tears rolling down his cheeks now and he really doesn’t want to hear the answer, but he has to ask._

_Louis gives Harry a look that tells him he knows how hard this is and how much Louis knows it’s hurting him, but he opens his mouth and nothing can prepare Harry for how much his words hurt him._

_“I suppose so, yeah,” Louis says._

_Before he realizes it, Harry’s picking up the closest thing to him and throwing it against the wall. He’s hit with a wave of guilt when he realizes it’s a framed photo of them from New Year’s, laughing through their midnight kiss at their favorite bar, glitter sparkling around them._

_“Harry –“ Louis tries, reaching out for Harry, but he backs away, glaring at Louis. “This doesn’t mean anything, like…permanent. I haven’t stopped—“_

_“Don’t, okay?” Harry bites, voice like venom. “Don’t you dare throw me a bone now saying some bullshit like, ‘you’ll never stop loving me’ or whatever. Whether you do or don’t it doesn’t matter because you’re choosing to walk away right now.”_

_Louis doesn’t say anything, and for the first time, he looks taken aback and his bottom lip trembles. He looks like Harry’s slapped him._

_“Please just…go,” Harry says finally, moving to the door and opening it for Louis._

_Louis gives Harry one final look, opens his mouth like he wants to say something, but Harry just shakes his head. Louis instead moves right next to Harry and leans up to press a lingering kiss to Harry’s cheek before he disappears out the door._

**~*~*~**

**Scene xxi.**

The morning after the wedding, Harry wakes up to a throbbing in his skull and a mouth that tastes awful, his tongue like sandpaper. 

He blinks his eyes open blearily, his mind immediately trying to piece together everything that happened last night. He remembers watching his sister get married and he remembers singing to them at the dinner reception. He remember dancing, he remembers…he remembers Louis. 

“Oh, fucking, _fuck,”_ Harry mumbles, and he rolls over, half expecting to find Louis there with him, but the bed’s empty. 

On the pillow, Harry finds a scrap of paper with Louis’ chicken scratch clearly scrawled on it. Harry squints at the writing, heart pounding. 

_My Hazza,_

_I hope last night gave you the closure you were looking for. I had to get back for my train ride, but please know I’ll miss you._

_Yours, Louis_

It hurts, seeing Louis’ writing on the back of the maid’s card and Harry doesn’t really understand why until he’s re-reading the note and understanding that it sounds like a fucking dismissal. It’s like Louis is just throwing it all away again, brushing everything under the rug and moving on.

And that’s…that’s not okay this time. 

Harry swings his legs over the edge of the bed, sitting up straight and feeling the blood rush, making him dizzy. He holds his head and closes his eyes while he rights himself, breathing heavily and standing up once he feels okay again. 

Harry rushes to his suitcase, trying to find anything he can just throw on so he can run and try to find Louis. Harry pulls out a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, scrambling to pull them on as he hurries to the door, only managing to grab his phone and keycard. 

He’s out the door in seconds, not even bothering to put on shoes or socks, and he’s dashing down the hallway. Harry types a quick message to Louis, hoping he has his phone on him, but not holding his breath. 

Louis’ room is down a floor and Harry runs the entire way, nearly throwing himself down the flight of stairs. He reaches it quickly and starts pounding on the door, mind racing and heart pounding. 

After thirty seconds, no one answers and Harry starts to panic. _What if he missed him already?_

Harry knocks again, but there’s no response. After muttering a few select curses, Harry dashes down the hall and makes his way down to the lobby, his last hope to catch Louis. 

To Harry’s surprise, Louis’ there at the desk, black backpack slung over one shoulder and soft hoodie wrapped around his torso. Harry feels frozen and he stays there standing awkwardly in the mouth of the hallway until Louis starts moving towards the door. 

“Lou!” Harry finds himself shouting before he can think anymore about it. 

Louis stops immediately, turning and glancing around until his eyes land on Harry, who’s now moving over to him and it feels like fucking ages with Louis staring at Harry apprehensively before he reaches him. 

“You’re just going to leave, then?” Harry says quietly, eyes diverting from Louis. 

“H, we both know that last night was fun and all, but…I’m still living in London and you said you’re still in LA. It was really nice to pretend like we were going to get back together last night in the heat of the moment, but, I don’t know. I’m really happy here and I don’t feel comfortable asking you to move for me-“

“You’re such an idiot, you know that?” Harry says exasperatedly, hands flying up in the air. 

Louis stares at Harry like he’s slapped him and rests his hands on his hips giving him a look like he wants Harry to explain himself, and quick. 

“I’m in love with you, Louis. You wouldn’t have to ask me to move, I’ll just do it. I want to be with you, and I’m not letting you just walk away again,” Harry says, stepping forward so he’s in Louis’ space and Louis cowers a bit under Harry’s intense gaze. 

“Yo-You can’t be serious, Harry. That’s…it’s insane for you to move halfway across the world for…for me,” Louis mumbles, unable to meet Harry’s eyes. 

“Lou, if you even listened, you’d know I wasn’t planning on staying in LA forever. My contract ends this month and I’ve already been looking for jobs in London to be closer to my family, and I even have an interview this week. I’m coming back,” Harry says and Louis’ eyes widen as understanding settles over his features. 

“Does…does that mean…” Louis stammers, hand adjusting the strap of his pack anxiously. 

“I want to make this work, Lou. I want to be with you,” Harry says strongly, hands coming out in front of him, palms up. 

Louis takes Harry’s hands in his and within seconds, he’s pulling Harry flush against him, Harry stumbling over his own bare feet and giggle as he bends to press his lips to Louis’, Louis greedily meeting him halfway. 

“I love you, baby,” Louis breathes, Harry’s hands brushing down his hair and cradling his face. “Thank you for coming after me.”

“I’ll always come after you, Louis. Now that I’ve got you again, I’m never letting go,” Harry whispers and he kisses Louis again. 

“As much as I wish I could stay,” Louis says, finally breaking away, “I really do need to catch my train, babe. I’ll call you when I get back home, though?”

“Please do. We can talk more once you’re home and settled. We’ll go from there,” Harry promises, pressing one last, simple kiss to Louis’ mouth. “I’ll walk you to your car.”

“Hazza, you don’t have shoes on, love,” Louis teases, giggling into his hand as he uses the other to pick up his suitcase. 

Harry looks down at his feet and shrugs, taking Louis’ suitcase from him and heading out the door. 

They kiss once more, standing out in front of the taxicab, door opened and Louis’ suitcase in the boot. Harry holds Louis’ face steady, trying to memorize the feeling of their lips molded together to tide him over until he gets to do this again. 

_And he will get to do this again._

“Call me as soon as you’re home,” Harry breathes, thumbs rubbing over Louis’ cheeks. 

“I will, I promise,” Louis whispers back. “God I miss this already.”

Harry laughs, and kisses Louis again. “Not me though? Just kissing?”

“I suppose I’ll miss you, too,” Louis admits, eyes shining. 

The cabbie calls out the window that he’s started the meter and Louis sighs, giving Harry one more, final kiss and then climbing into the cab. Harry closes the door behind him and pats his hand on the top of the cab. 

He stands in the street waving as Louis’ face, pressed up against the rear window, disappears from view, heart aching. He can’t help but smile, though, because he’s finally got his boy back.

_**Fin.** _

**Author's Note:**

> well here you are! You made it to the end! lemme know how you're feeling in the comments. 
> 
> also, do these losers own your ass as much as they (still) own mine?? 
> 
> sending love and good vibes to all of youuuu <3


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